For soundscapes and songwriters' collaboration week, I was teamed up with Andy Newall, and we were tasked with coming up with a piece of sound art that spoke to the concept of an emotion/feeling you've not yet felt. I found this concept particularly difficult and realised that because my practice is rooted in the emotions I have felt, or connecting with an artist i'm writing with on an emotion they've felt, I found it difficult to access this place within me to start writing. Andy and I sat together to discuss ideas, and I found this time very challenging. He suggested that we picture ourselves in the doctor's office being told that we have cancer. This topic was too close to home for me, and when I let Andy know this, he responded in a defensive manner. Following this, Andy listed off some other ideas for subject matters and we landed on the idea of what it would feel like to play at the Hydro, a large concert hall in Glasgow. For me, there is so much importance on the first stage of collaborating; in connecting, in exploring the work you can create together. I found learning in this experience, understanding just how important it is to create a safe space when collaborating, to respect another's boundaries in how much they want to share, and to be respectful and kind when working with someone.

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Andy started playing the grand piano. He recorded the sound which would represent the soothing element of the piece, where someone found solace in the music being played. I would map out the soundscape once he had finished doing that so that we could start layering sounds, and suggested that we record some found sound, building a picture of the scene of attending a concert. We recorded the sound of footsteps, muffled conversations and used different rooms i.e a gym and a hallway to create a soundscape. We were given feedback that at this point in time, the piece was quite literal. In response to this, we focussed in on creating a narrative, that this could be a soundscape that addresses anxiety, something that could be positioned within a mental health festival. After working together for day one, we had an idea of where we could take this piece, however I would not be able to attend the second day and Andy and I would then work separately to finish the piece.

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Following on from day one of collaboration, I thought about how I could represent anxiety and panic with sound. Andy and I had created field recordings of noises one would hear at a gig. However the sound didn't feel like it captured the feeling of being at a busy gig for me, and so I experimented with using the sounds in the Alchemy Sampler on Logic Pro x. The sound I made using this sounded urgent and rhythmic, which connected to this idea of a resounding alarm - a panic button going off in someone's brain - a panic attack. To build on this, I used the Baby Audio BA-1 Synth, and realised you can control how much 'battery' was left in this. I turned this right down to represent the person running low on reserves, and played a repetitive melody to show the effect of someone's mental health spiralling downwards. 

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For the middle section of my soundscape, I wanted the feeling of a panic attack to be at its fullest. I used a fast drum beat to represent this, and layered instruments over this section to build an uncomfortable, overwhelming feeling. Upon researching helpful methods in dealing with a panic attack, I thought i'd like to incorporate the '54321' method, where you name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. The person would hear their friend supporting them through this panic attack, helping them to use grounding techniques. (Suarez-Angelino, 2022) I wanted to repeat the instructions 5 times since there are 5 sensory things to focus on. For the first time, the instructions are muffled and low in the mix - it's hard for the individual to grasp what is being said. The second time, there is slightly more clarity, but it still feels jumbled and hard to grasp. As the friend repeats the phrases, you start to hear the clarity come in to the mix, and we see the effect of this technique starting to work. We go from complete panic and overwhelm to calm clarity.

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In the third section, we find relief. Here the sound of the piano resounds in a gentle, soothing pace, accompanied by the heavily reverberated strings, almost as an enveloping blanket of peace. The soundscape has taken us on a journey from rugged, poorly tuned sounding instruments and a sense of urgency, through the moment of support, and to a place of calm.

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For me, I'm quite happy with how the piece turned out. It was interesting to begin this process as a collaborative piece of work and identify the thematic ideas together, but create the end result individually. I feel like I could have perhaps added more instrumentation in the section with 54321 statements, but tried to focus the listener's attention in to trying to figure out what was being said, and I didn't want to potentially distract the listener by adding too much. It was my first time experimenting with automation on the affects, and so I think more practice could strengthen this. I wonder if the instrumentation, going from very synthetic sounds to a piano and string section, sounds a bit disjointed, however I wanted to honour the work Andy and I began on the first day. My final thought on this piece would be to incorporate more found sound in it's natural state - I've enjoyed making new instruments using the sampler, but i'd like to work at incorporating more anthropophony and geophony in my soundscapes. (Pijanowski et al., 2011)